Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un last night phoned best friend Bashar al-Assad to invite him to his 34th birthday celebrations.
‘We’ll have a marching band, a warplane flyover, some tanks and a bouncy castle.’
‘You can bring a friend if you want’
Assad said he would love to come, but he was busy fighting a brutal civil war, and had just been bombed by newly elected President Trump.
‘We’ll have jelly and ice cream’
‘Okay, I’ll be there’