After a 61% drop in pre-tax UK profits, Starbucks announced that their ‘bad coffee’ was to blame.
Speaking at a press conference, a Starbucks spokesman had this to say:
‘After extensive analysis, and further market research, we have come to the conclusion that our customers are dissatisfied with the poor quality of our coffee’
‘They also don’t like paying close to £4 for an ‘iced caramel machiato’.
‘And our dubious history of tax avoidance seems to be putting customers off’.
‘To be honest, I’m surprised we haven’t gone out of business’.
The press conference concluded with an announcement that 50 new branches would be opened nationwide in the next 2 years.
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