‘I am your salvation’, says Blair

Tony Blair sensationally announced his return to British politics this afternoon, proudly telling the assembled media ‘I am your last hope’

Speaking at a press conference, Mr. Blair covered a wide range of issues, including the creation of a new political party called ‘New New Labour’

‘The people need me. The world needs me. I have come to save the ignorant masses from the folly of Brexit, and show them the path to true enlightenment’

‘Let me be your shepherd, and I will lead you to the promised land’

When asked by a journalist what the promised land looked like, Mr. Blair replied:

‘Fairness for the many, not just the few’

‘Crime down by a third’

‘Record levels of investment’

‘The people’s princess’

This news comes just days after former Prime Minister John Major revealed he would be standing as an independent, vowing to ‘bring back the Traffic Cones Hotline once and for all’

Full story here: http://bit.ly/2p9BnF9

 

 

 

 

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