The British Medical Association today confirmed that most everyday health problems can be fixed with just one or two pints of beer.
New guidelines revealed strong lager is the most effective relief for everyday aches and pains, although patients are warned that if several high doses aren’t enough to ‘get the job done’, a trip to Accident and Emergency is the best course of action.
More serious conditions, such a fractures and concussions, are best treated with an infusion of Wild Turkey, although Smirnoff Vodka is considered an adequate alternative.
This news comes just days after the Royal College of Psychiatrists announced that the best cure for depression was five minutes a day reading The Hooting Times.
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WHAT A HOOT!