American bears are believed to be responsible for the worrying rise in honey theft. Police records show a fifteen percent increase in honey-related thievery over the last twelve months, the highest number since records began.
Police have issued the following warning:
‘Bears of America. You have been warned. If this behaviour continues, we will have no choice but to implement extreme measures. Expect tough prison sentences, electronic tagging, extended community service orders, and much more’
‘The madness has to stop’
‘We would also like to take the opportunity to tell home-owners to be vigilant. Until we clean up this mess, please keep all of your honey in a locked safe, preferably in the basement. These bears are very devious, and will stop at nothing for their fix’
‘But it ends now’
‘God bless America’
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WHAT A HOOT!