*Pope Francis canonises Donald Trump*

Pope Francis has today canonised Donald Trump, in recognition of numerous miracles performed by the recently elected President. In a speech at the Vatican, the Pope had this to say:

‘We have been keeping a close eye on Mr. Trump for many years, and are now fully convinced he is ready for sainthood. His defeat of Hillary Clinton can only be described as a miracle. His consistently high ratings for The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice can only be described as a miracle. His hair can only be described as a miracle’

‘From this day forward, he will be known as Saint Donald the Wise’

‘God bless America’

When asked to comment President Trump simply replied, ‘what the hell took so long?’.

Full story here: http://bbc.in/2r6exzN

WHAT A HOOT!

 

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