Johnny Depp is being held hostage by militant cinema fans, who are demanding an immediate end to all current and future ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ films, calling on studio bosses to ‘stop the madness, or we will be forced to take extreme measures’.
Speaking to hostage negotiators, the kidnappers issued a series of demands:
‘This series has gone on for too long. It was fun at first, but it’s time to stop. We are calling for the cancellation of the current movie, and any future installments, as well as the destruction of all DVDs. We will however allow people to keep copies of the first film, as that one was okay’.
‘We would also like five million dollars in compensation, for emotional distress caused by the sequels, and a fully fuelled jet at an airport of our choosing’.
‘Failure to comply will be severely punished’.
‘You have been warned’.
This news come just days after the FBI successfully foiled a plot to blow up the set of another X-men spin off, although several agents have since come to regret that decision.
Full story here: http://dailym.ai/2pFjVtF
WHAT A HOOT!