Corbyn’s beard responsible for 18 point poll deficit

Political scientists have confirmed that Labour’s disastrous poll ratings are caused primarily by Jeremy Corbyn’s beard. The party is currently eighteen points behind the Conservatives, and could potentially be facing electoral oblivion, with the beard taking most of the blame.

‘It’s really very simple’, said a leading pollster. ‘Jeremy Corbyn has a beard. Theresa May does not have a beard. Therefore we can say with authority that unless Mr. Corbyn has a shave sometime in the next few days, he will be thoroughly beaten on June 8th’.

The study also suggested that the Lib Dem’s failure to break ten percent was mainly down to Tim Farron being a ginger.

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