Kim Jong-Un to be first man on Mars

Glorious Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Un has today revealed plans to be the first man on Mars. A spokesman for the Eternal President said:

‘Grand Marshall Kim has been watching Total Recall, and has decided he would quite like to go to Mars. We have therefore accelerated our space programme, with the intention of achieving this goal within the next five years, making Dear Leader the first man to set foot on the red planet’.

‘I’d like to see South Korea try and do that’.

This news comes after President Putin announced his intention to be the first world leader to develop warp drive capability, and to boldly go where no man has gone before.

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