UKIP battle bus prepares to take Brussels

The UKIP battle bus in now armed and ready to take Brussels, a party spokesman has confirmed. ‘We’ve got a full tank of petrol, a full cache of weapons, and the backing of Queen and Country, so let’s get going’.

After months of preparation, the battle bus in now fully equipped for combat, with mounted machine guns, a long range cannon, bullet proof windows, and a stash of assault rifles in the baggage compartment. There is also plenty of tinned food, and an on-board water purifier in case the fight drags on longer than expected.

Nigel Farage has agreed to drive the bus, while party leader Paul Nuttall will be making the key tactical decisions, hoping to ensure a swift conclusion to the conflict.

‘We don’t expect those Belgians to put up much of a fight. One look at our bus will have them fleeing in terror. Then it’s on to Strasbourg for final victory’.

The Prime Minister of Belgium responded by calling on the nation’s Peace Bicycle Corps to defend the city from ‘the dark forces of Nigel’s purple invaders’.

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