After decades of hard work and dedication, Peter Sutcliffe has finally achieved his dream of becoming a chess Grandmaster. He was awarded this prestigious title after a series of epic matches against recently deceased Ian Brady, who was himself a highly accomplished player.
Speaking from his cell in Broadmoor psychiatric hospital, Mr. Sutcliffe said:
‘This is a great honour for me, and proof that if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything. I’d like to dedicate this victory to Ian Brady, who is sadly no longer with us. We had some great matches. You were a worthy opponent, and a true champion.’
‘I’d also like to thank my friends and family for their loyalty and support. It means everything to me’.
Prime minister Theresa May offered her congratulations, as rumours of a possible knighthood continue to circulate.
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WHAT A HOOT!