Scottish cows seek asylum in England

A herd of Scottish cows has today claimed asylum in England, after successfully managing to cross the border, despite the police’s best efforts to stop them.

‘It’s been a long and dangerous journey, but it’s worth it’, said one cow, who wishes to remain anonymous.

‘We are just looking for a better life. Nicola Sturgeon’s oppressive dictatorship has made living in Scotland much too dangerous. We can never go back’.

‘We have no rights, we have no freedoms, we have nothing’.

‘Please help us’.

Theresa May issued a statement welcoming the cows to England, saying:

‘We know how much you have suffered, but today that suffering will end. The English are a compassionate people, and we will do everything in our power to make sure you feel safe, secure, and loved, because decent English values will always prevail’.

‘That is who we are’.

Full story here:





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: