Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has today confirmed that the magic money tree is real, and that a vote for him will secure Britain’s prosperity for at least a millennium.
‘I’ve been growing in in my back garden for the last few years, and now it’s finally starting to pay off’.
‘By the time we get to autumn, it should be producing billions and billions of pounds, which we can then spend on the NHS and social care to create a country that works for the many, not just the few’.
Theresa May responded to these claims by telling voters that she was now a trained alchemist, and would be turning base metal into gold ‘to make sure Brexit is a success’.
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WHAT A HOOT!