US Olympic hopeful Ronald McDonald has reportedly tested positive for performance enhancing steroids, throwing his entire athletic career in jeopardy, and raising yet more questions about doping in sport.
At an emotional press conference, a tearful Mr. McDonald promised to clear his name.
‘I promise to fight these allegations with all my strength. I have never taken drugs. I have in fact spoken out against drug use for years, and fully support lifetime bans for those who do’.
‘The only possible explanation is some kind of mix up at the laboratory. Maybe a mix up with the blood samples’.
‘Anyway, I vow to clear my name’.
‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for a Big Mac and fries’.
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WHAT A HOOT!