MI5 terrorism analysts have today confirmed that Stoke City FC is a hotbed of extremism, and have warned supporters that attending home games could leave them ‘vulnerable to the worst forms of radicalisation’.
A spokesman for MI5, who wishes to remain anonymous, said:
‘We believe the poor quality of football on display leaves fans in a permanent state of anger, rage and frustration. In the past, those feelings would have led to occasional outbursts hooliganism, but now they appear to lead to terrorism’.
‘We urge fans to stay away from the stadium if possible, but if you absolutely have to attend, please be vigilant’.
‘To be safe, we recommend watching Barcelona instead’.
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WHAT A HOOT!